Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Reality TV

So yeah, I've had some time off recently..... and that means I've ended up watching some good ol' reality TV with Jess here and there. After watching my fair share of it, I've noticed some common threads between every reality show........ besides from the obvious facts that they cast the most unstable people possible, and the cameras go where the drama is.... Here are my observations:

1. Our favorite characters are the ones we hate. Sure, there's one "nice" person in the group that we naturally identify ourselves with, but we all love watching that unstable one go off on a rant, being a complete jerk, don't we?

2. The dumber the better. We love watching dumb people do dumb things. I guess it makes us feel intelligent and successful?

3. Nobody ever accepts apologies. An apology is just an opportunity to drag up what happened all over again and take up another 10 minutes of screen time talking about what happened 10 minutes earlier in the episode.

4. Being a gold digger is boring. All the celebrity shows about women who live off their rich men (real housewives, girls next door, etc...) reveal the dark side of what happens when fame and money come without a busy career. They're constantly coming up with random things to do..... like "let's throw a theme party" or "let's do a photo shoot for fun" or "let's senselessly remodel a room in the mansion". It's seems as though they're constantly trying real hard to find things to occupy their time. They could get a job! Oh wait, they have one, that's what all the cameras are. Ok, clock in.... action....... look ridiculous........... and cut!

5. Everybody's the victim. I don't think I've ever heard anybody say "I've had it pretty easy in life, you know?" It doesn't matter if they've been raised with a silver spoon, or in a barn..... they've all "been through a lot", and "never been given a chance by nobody". If drama goes down on set, "It ain't my fault! I've had a rough life. The other girls have had it easier than me." Umm.... they say the same about you.

6. They're out to find their "true love". Really? They're getting paid to choose between 20 of the most unstable people the producers could cast.... and the sequel is already being planned.... Oh, but you'll be devastated that it didn't work out the first time, won't you?

7. It's all about variety. Let's make a reality TV show..... How about a dating show! Let's come up with some super original twist shall we? Sure, there's been dating shows on reality TV before..... but how about a dating show with a washed up rock star? Been done? Ok, then let's do one with overweight people! Oh, that's been done...... well, what about people formerly on OTHER reality TV shows?! Oh that's been done? Dang it!

8. EVERYONE has an assistant. What does a housewife with no discernable career (other than frumping around the house in pajamas in front of a camera) need an assistant for?

These shows are pretty bottom-of-the-barrel TV. So why are reality TV shows so plentiful?

Because they're cheap to produce (it's cheaper to stock a house with vodka and cameras than to cast a scripted drama), they cast the lowest bidders ("i can be on a TV show?!"), and the bar for being famous is so low that they can make a celebrity out of a trailer park superintendent (I smell a HIT SHOW!).

........aaaaand cut.



Christine said...

ahahahah. i don't watch tv, let alone reality tv, buuut . that was super funny xDDD

Jonni said...

oh, Jonathan, u have a lot of wisdom, haha :)
if this was on facebook, I'd hit the "like" button

Bethany Marie said...

Jonathan, this is absolutley GREAT! I lauged so hard, and then went, "But it's so true!"

Heidi said...

I read through all those and nodded along. but i still watch reality tv. i dont know why. probably cause i know... ok no one is like this in real life! And i totally agree with you on the dating shows. Seriously how many do you need!--- very funny post!

Ida said...

This is amazing Jon! If this wasn't so true it would be utterly humorous but sadly it's not.. Culutre and media are so screwed up today, thank God there's people like you who's turning it around. ((:

christena said...

haha completely true...