End of the World Movies

There have been a slew of "end of the world" movies in the last ten years or so. I'm a fan... because for some reason I enjoy watching scenes of unparalleled destruction. Call it sadistic, I don't know....

In any case, there are certain things that seem to be constant throughout most of these end of the world movies..... So if you ever grow up to be an end-of-the-world-movie filmmaker..... be sure to include these into your story!

1. The President is in charge of the world, and it's up to him to make choices that save America. If other parts of the earth are saved, that's a bonus.

2. Generals are always wrong. They will tell the President to take the exact wrong course of action. They love red phones with no buttons.

3. Nuclear bombs can fix just about anything... Whether it's breaking up an asteroid or restarting the earth's core rotation... Nukes are handy little fellas.

4. When re-wiring a nuclear bomb, always cut the red wire. Never the green. In fact, use the red, white, and blue wires whenever possible. It's the patriotic thing to do.

5. When the destruction starts, you can be sure that it will strike in Europe or Asia first. Rome, Paris, London, Tokyo, and Beijing seem to be the favorites.

6. Destruction will reach America eventually, but will spare most of the population. Regardless, the golden gate bridge must be destroyed at some point in the film.

7. If the movie involves spaceflight, be sure to ignore all basic laws of physics. You can walk on small asteroids even though the gravity wouldn't be enough to hold you down, you can hear explosions in space even though sound can't travel in a vacuum, and of course, nukes still fix everything.

8. 60% of the time, the cause of the destruction is something we did to the planet. Global warming, scientific experimentation gone awry, or something of that sort. Don't worry though, 20% of the time the President is African-American, so the human race isn't so bad.

9. The clock always stops with 3 seconds left..... and the 15 seconds preceeding this little miracle are always enough to say goodbye to your loved ones and have a nice 2-minute flashback.

10. In the end, much of the earth is destroyed, but the remaining population have learned a valuable lesson... or have they?! Well, at least the threat is neutralized.... OR IS IT?!!!.......

Well, at least the dog ALWAYS ALWAYS survives.

Jonathan